BY SHARON MARTIN
When I was growing up, I had one birthday party. I wore a borrowed dress to the Junior-Senior Banquet. There was no money for Easter dresses or patent leather shoes.
I thought we were poor, but there was always real food on our table and real conversations about our day and about current events.
We couldn’t afford luxuries, but the basics were covered. In those days, women had weekly hair appointments. Not Mama, but she and Dad found a way to give each of us piano lessons from first grade until we left home.
I remember only one real vacation, but we visited historic sites and museums close to home. I walked the foundations at Boggy Depot and stood under the gallows at Judge Parker’s courthouse. We gazed at meteor showers and slogged along the banks of Buck Creek to see a beaver dam.
We rarely had a nickel for the candy store, but my parents scraped together 35 cents every month to buy a book from the Scholastic flyer. We didn’t have a television, but we had library cards.
I had polio when I was four, so there were always health issues. When I was in the hospital, Dad would bring me books. I remember a science book he checked out for me when I was in first grade, still reading Dick and Jane. Together we got through the book before I left the hospital.
We didn’t have insurance. I didn’t realize what role this played in our financial insecurity until I was an adult, because no one made a big deal about the monthly payments for hospital balances.
Mama and Dad never missed a parent/teacher conference. They attended PTA meetings. They came to my school concerts and plays. When I played the role of the Moonshiner’s Daughter in Smoky Mountain, not only were my parents there, but the front row was packed with the boys from Job Corp to whom Dad ministered.
My parents and my teachers were partners. Respect wasn’t optional. My father told me that if I ever got in trouble in school, I’d be in trouble when I got home. I believed him; he believed in the teachers.
Then, as now, there were parents who abdicated their responsibilities. So, how do we, as teachers, prepare kids to be parents? How do we nurture the challenging students, the needy, the deprived, so that they can grow up to change the patterns?
Helping students grow up to be responsible adults is at least as important as teaching a child to read. We won’t see that in the standards. But we teachers know it to be true, especially those of us lucky enough to have hands-on parents as role models.
– Sharon Martin lives in Oilton, OK and is a regular contributor to The Oklahoma Observer
I believe that when parents are good parents they go to the parent teacher conference meeting. Also they explain to kids how important education will be when they grow up. Also without education you lose a lot of good opportunities . Parents who are always too busy to go to the meetings are just setting up there kids for bad choices. Because when the teacher gives there student a paper to give to their parents they are not going to give it to them because of the fact that his or her parents are never involved. Therefor the student is never going to tell his or her parents because they are going to assume the parents are going to be too busy.
My mother sheltered me from lifes struggles growing up. I am blessed and thankful for that but now as an adult I feel as if I did not receive the right guidiance towards becoming an adult. With my own children I want to protect them but also show them what life has to offer them.
My mother sheltered me with her struggles growing up. Although I am thankful and blessed I feel as if I did not receive the right guidance to become an adult. With my own children I want to protect them but also show them what life has to offer.
My mother sheltered me as child with her adult struggles. Athough I am blessed and thankful I feel as if I did not receive the correct guidance to adulthood. With my own children I want to protect them but also show them what life has to offer.
Teachers get to much hate and negative focus for sure. The students are also responsible to maintain their grades and to stay focused on school. The teachers need to have input through the course itself and to make sure they’re getting the work explained and the courses well taught. The blame can be moved to the students because I believe the real cause is their lack of determination amd just the careless attitude this generation has.
Changing the Patterns.
Wake up! Parents these days do not give out responsibilities at home. If children do not learn responsibility at home, it is not going to happen in the classroom. Parents use the teacher as a babysitter and the classroom as a playground. Parents are not teaching their children how to respect their elders. It is all about video games, cell phones, texting, and Facebook. Parents just own up to it, the real issue relies on your part, just give the child what he really wants, more discipline. It is just too easy to lay the blame on others than just to own up to the real issue at hand. Teach your kids responsibility and to respect others and you will have a better outcome and a more responsible, well-disciplined child. Children these days love creating drama, as this takes the spot light off of them. Just own up to it and take control of your children first.
My great-grandmother raised me, for the most part, and I found myself giving my 10 yr old son the same advice she embedded into my mind over the course of 35 years. The life lesson is to simply BE GOOD.
I got extremely emotional as I lectured my son on how to make good decisions, choose good friends, and be good to himself and others because I reflected back on my own life of bad decisions, bad friends, and being bad on myself and others. Fortunately I bounced back from the hard life mostly unscathed and it was my grandmother’s voice that stayed with me long after she was gone-“ALWAYS BE A GOOD GIRL”.
The children today aren’t held accountable for thier own actions. They are the entitled generation and believe the world owes them and it’s always someone else’s fault.
I’m stating the obvious by pointing out all the faults of our youth when what we need are solutions.
As a parent my goal is to instill goodness, self-worth, and healthy human connection into my children. I LISTEN attentively to my ten year old even when he’s talking about non-sense like a zombie apocolypse. I remember that it may be non-sense to me but it’s very important to him. I VALIDATE him and remind him he is important and has a voice. It’s not rocket science; We all know what’s right and wrong-good and bad.
It takes a village to raise a child (also something my grandmother would say). I stand united behind my son’s teacher 100%. We both have the same goal and that is for my son to succeed in life and be the best he can be so why wouldn’t we stand as one?
My great-grandmother raised me, for the most part, and yesterday I found myself giving my 10 yr old the same advice she embedded into my mind over the course of 35 years. The life lesson was simply BE GOOD.
I got extremely emotional as I lectured my son on how to make good decisions, choose good friends, and be good to himself and others because it forced me to reflect on my own past of making bad decisions, choosing bad friends, and being bad to myself and others. Fortunately, I got back on the right path and it was my grandmother’s voice that stayed with me long after she was gone-“Be a good girl”.
The children today aren’t held accountable for their actions. They are the entitled generation and believe the world owes them and it’s always someone else’s fault. I’m stating the obvious here by rambling about the problems in our youth when what we need are solutions.
As a parent my goal is to instill goodness, self-worth, and positive human connection into my children. I LISTEN attentively to my 10 yr old even when he talks about non-sense like how to take cover in a zombie apocolypse. It’s not non-sense to him. I VALIDATE him and remind him he has a voice and he is IMPORTANT and WORTHY of all things GOOD. It’s not rocket science; We all know what’s right and wrong-what’s good and bad. My son knows I stand united with his teachers. I attend parent-teacher conferences and am pro-active in communicating with his teacher. I reward him when he’s done a GOOD job and he knows there are consequences when he’s done wrong.
It takes a village to raise a child (something else my grandmother would always say) so we must stand together with our teachers. After all, our goals are the same. We want the best for our children. We want them to have a GOOD life.
Divorce has became more common leaving children without Father’s in the home and no direction due to their mothers working full-time jobs and spending less time in the home. My belief is society’s level has decreased so much. Not just concerning divorced parent’s but parent’s actually not being involved in their children’s lives even if they are married.
Parent’s teach disrespect. They let their children disrepect them and disrespect to their elders. Parents teach them hate and they seem to to let everyone else take the blame for the irresponsible actions.
It is absolutely amazing to see parent’s sit back whine and moan about how they just don’t understand why their kid is this way? Really?
Im only 34, when I was 18 I became pregnant, moved and off to San Diego with my husband who was in the U.S.N only at that point in time I realized what my Mother and Step-Father had taught me. They taught me manners, respect, responsibilty and they corrected me, even with a belt when needed. I have much respect for them and hopefully one day my children will fell the same about myself and his Father.
Growing up my mom was in college full-time and my dad was a truck driver. My sisters and I rode our bikes to our games, to school, and anything else we had to do. It took a miracle to get my parent to go to a school function.
Having two children of my own, I have made it a priority for my kids not to grow up without memories of their parents being there for them. I admit, making it to every function and games has been challenging but, I have made it to almost alll of them.
I do think, that being a major part of your childrens life is a major factor of growing up a responsible parent. However, I think that my parents not beng in my life has helped me grow up a responsible, reliable parent.
Yes, how you was raised does play a role in how you grow up. In my case, growing up without the support of my parents, has made me a better parent and over all person. Am I perfect? No, but I am there for my kids and I am teaching them responsibility.
Growing up not only did my mother and father attend every parent teacher conference, as much as I always tried to hide it from them, but all my sports events, concerts or anything I was involved in. They were there along with my grandparents and aunts and uncles, no body missed anything. Some times it was embarrassing for me to have everyone around for everything but now I look back and I am glad that I had family that cared enough to come and support me for everything. I can only imagine how the kids probably felt that looked out into the audience and didn’t see anyone there to root them on. And now that I have my son it makes me happy to know that he will have parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who will be there for everything. The way my parents raised me definitely played a role in how I grew up and the way that I will raise my children. Everyday I find myself saying and doing things that make me go oh my gosh I’m just like my mother. But now in my life I’m learning that that is a good thing if there is anyone I would like to be compared to it would be either my mother or my father.