Yes, I stole that from the Colbert Show so sue me. I know a bunch of lawyers and some are not even in prison so have your lawyer call my lawyer or, if you prefer, just wrap a court summons around a big rock and throw it over the fence at the Joseph Harp Prison east of Lexington. My guy will get it unless the tunnel is finished.
Anyway, the nation’s biggest user of 20/20 hindsight is that old phony former Somebody Mitch McConnell. You may have heard of him. He now wants corporations to butt out of politics because they are stupid and he is smart.
What’s really bugging his baggy, old itchy ass is that Coca-Cola, Delta and most other reputable corporations who have even just heard of Georgia don’t want anything to do with its governor, Brian Kemp, and the current class of klansmen and women serving in the Legislature because they … wait for it … keep passing modern day Jim Crow laws.
Oh, they doctor it all up, call it reform but if such legislation was so critical, why did they wait for so long to pass it? Just a guess but maybe because some old smart-like-a-fox mumbler named Biden now sleeps in the White House or perhaps it’s those two new Democrat senators from the Peach State.
God, how appropriate. A black preacher and a Jewish businessman, two of the main targets of Imperial Wizards everywhere and forever.
So speaking of forever, which seems like how long Mischievous Mitch has been in the Senate, he says the Repubs are going to fight back and start drinking Pepsi, quit flying on real airplanes and just use Inhofe’s Beechcraft to get around. Mitch has even volunteered Teddy Cruz as the first passenger. Needs a lift down to Cancun but plans to drop leaflets over the Rio Grande on the way saying “go home foreigners” which he plans to do soon himself when he visits his father’s homeland … Cuba.
OK, enough meanness from me so close to Easter and as a sop to the few Republicans who continue to read my heckling of homo-haters, I’ll wrap up with this: Most senators really wanted to be doctors but couldn’t get in medical school so they chose the next best thing – a do-nothing job with good pay and a fancy title.
They even decided to adopt an oath for their profession just like what doctors did and do. For doctors, it’s The Hippocratic Oath – Do no harm. For Cruz, Paul, McConnell and those of their ilk? It’s The Hypocrite’s Oath – Do no good.
I think it is the one oath they have kept, except the one about Mexico paying for that damn Wall. I’m sure the check is in the mail.