“Honey. I’m going to City Hall to pay this damn traffic ticket I don’t deserve. Do you know where my Glock is?”

Yes, the wizards, also known as state lawmakers, are pushing a bill through their vacuous chambers – meaning what’s between their two ears – that would allow guns to be carried into many county, city and town official offices.

Also, should HB 4138 pass muster of the mental midgets, the firearms will be legal within the grounds of the Oklahoma City and Tulsa state fairs.

Of course, because tempers sometimes arise at the state Capitol, no guns, knives or other dangerous items can be brought into The People’s Building because, God forbid, we wouldn’t want anything that might threaten, endanger, scare, spook, dismay, distract, divert, dazzle or otherwise dizzy our dedicated public servants who seem determined to authorize deadly weapons most anywhere an 18- or 21-year-old has the itch to pack … openly or concealed.

Not that it matters much to our current class of clowns assembled on NE 23rd Street, but alcohol is legal and sold in abundance at our two state fairs, which run late into the night, usually for a stretch of a couple of weeks. Crowds, nightfall, guns, partying, carnival atmosphere, booze, thousands of teenagers and young adults, all packed together in a compact and highly charged area … what possibly could go wrong?

And why leave out the hundreds of local county fairs, or even Frontier City where make believe gun fights are a familiar and highly popular “Showdown at the OK Corral” as actors get plugged regularly, feign death, then get up and do it again for entertainment. Youngsters especially enjoy the action.

Not that there is any corellation but our state remains in the Top 10 states nationally in gun violence.

Gov. Stitt should be proud …Top 10 in something.

That’s not his fault, you say? Don’t you reckon he’ll sign this bill just like every other firearms expansion proposal that has made it to his desk? Sure, he will – and why not? It’s an election year.