BY SHARON MARTIN

Maybe most New Year’s resolutions fail because the resolver is self-absorbed.

Take me.

Every year, I want to be smarter, thinner, and more successful. And every year, my resolutions are mostly in the waste basket by February.

What if resolutions revolved around others? I’m not talking martyrdom. Kindness is the key; it takes care of both the giver and receiver.

Magazines are awash in good resolve. We can forgive. We can be grateful for the good things that come our way. These are both good ideas. But one of the best resolutions came from Wayne Dyer: “Commit to at least one daily experience where you share something of yourself … ”

Dr. Dyer gives examples of how he shares, including sending his son three rolls of stamps and calling the president of his alma mater to start a scholarship fund. Whoa, Nelly! Is kindness only for rich people?

Absolutely not! Some of the most generous people I know share not from their excess but from their daily bread. Dr. Dyer’s idea is commendable, even if his suggestions for putting it into practice are over the top, and it is something each of us can do to make the world a better place.

Do you cook dinner for your children or spouse every evening? Then do so without complaining about the dishes or telling the diners how tired you are. Serve the meal with joy.

Did a child drop a candy wrapper on the floor of the store? Don’t glare at his mother. Just pick up the trash and dispose of it. Be an example, not a grouch.

Read to a child. Be a mentor.

Pass your favorite books and magazines on to someone who will enjoy them.

Drop by on a homebound friend or relative on your way home from work.

Buy your vegetables from a local grower. Do all your shopping as close to home as you can. Look for the Made in Oklahoma label and the flag that says Made in the USA.

Write a handwritten note to someone.

Remember your neighbor’s birthday with a card, a cake, or a cheery howdy-do.

You can still make a personal resolution or two. I’d certainly like to be 20 pounds thinner. My knees would thank me.

And I’d like to carve out a little quiet time for myself each week.

Mostly, I just want to feel like I make a difference. Isn’t this what we all want, really?

We can do it if we make kindness the center of every day in 2012.

– Sharon Martin lives in Oilton, OK and is a regular contributor to The Oklahoma Observer