To Comfort The Afflicted
And Afflict The Comfortable

To Comfort The Afflicted And Afflict The Comfortable

Wednesday, May 18, 2022

Observercast

Biblical, Historical Quackery

on

BY KAREN WEBB

Phil is Back on A&E.

OK, I have watched the entire video of Phil Robertson’s sermon to the people at the Berean Bible Church in Pennsylvania in February 2010, and most of it is like your regular sermon, with some fairly funny duck references, a lot of duck calling and some strange U.S. history, pre-Civil War thrown in. I listened to it to make sure the quote I have read and used is not taken out of context and that it specifically refers to homosexuals and it does, but I will deal with that later.

He goes into an explanation of AD with reference to the “year of our Lord” and says that every time you write a check you are announcing the fact that Jesus was here on earth and it was 2010 years ago. It is near the 2:29 mark in the nearly hour-long sermon. We are all killing time by it, he says.

He has never worn a ring or a watch. I know why a lot of married men do not wear rings and watches, but I don’t think that is why he doesn’t. You wouldn’t want the sun glinting off your watch or your ring while duck hunting. You never want to scare the duck before killing it.

He quotes some creation scripture and says his professors didn’t believe in creation because they actually taught the other ideas. I went to a Southern Baptist college and my professors taught about the beliefs of other religions and not once did I assume that Dr. Cobb was a Buddist or a Mormon because he told me those religions exist.

He gets really jiggy with history and assuming anyone who ever used the term “create” in an essay or paper believed in God and the Biblical version of creation. Because Jefferson used endowed by their creator he is a creationist. He says he stands with Washington, Jefferson, Jackson, [Andrew, certainly not Michael], Madison and Lincoln because they all were believers in God and based everything they ever did on the Bible.

He doesn’t believe in the big bang theory. He says that DNA has proven that evolution is not possible even with the help of an all-powerful God. We did not jump out of the ocean; we are made from dirt. He says he is all ears and will listen if you have some sort of evidence.

I assume anything interpreted in 16th Century England to disprove creation is OK because he uses an interpretation from strangers, in that century, to prove his.

He isn’t all ears, but he is all mouth. He says that no matter what kind of health care the government wants you to have, you need to trust him because he can give you the answers. He does mention billions are spent on depression relief and he says all you need is the Bible and he holds it up.

He’s with George Washington because George apparently held up the Bible and said something he doesn’t quote and because George was standing on God Almighty and the Bible we needed to name the capital of the country after him. We needed to erect a huge monument to him. I am guessing that is because if we had built a monument to Jesus it would have broken a commandment.

“I’m with George Washington, who are you with? Was he a religious nut because that’s what they say I am.” I don’t know about religious nut, but I am pretty sure the capital and monument are named for him as the “father of the country” and not as some kind of religious edifice.

He quotes Andy Jackson, who held up the Bible and said, “the book is the rock the republic rests on.” “Was Andrew Jackson a religious nut?” Andrew Jackson was not only a slave owner and thought they were property, but he really hated Native Americans. I had a relative that shot Jackson in the leg and if he had blown his head off a lot of Native Americans might not have died for “manifest destiny” which in short terms is “anything is mine that I can take.”

He says that right here in Philadelphia, Jefferson said that, “All men are created equal so he was a Jesus man.” Jefferson was a godly man, he says. I am a Jefferson fan, but I am not sure Jesus would be. Jefferson did not free his slaves in his lifetime and, in fact, he created at least four or five half slaves/half Jesus kids with his slave mistress.

He gets really weird and seems to infer that because Jefferson said “inalienable rights” that he was pro-life and against a woman’s right to choose.

“We debate whether some woman has the right to tear you out of her body, a piece at a time. You have a right to live and in of all places inside your mother.” He didn’t mention any exceptions on whether or not a holy founding father has the right to impregnate his property, i.e. slave.

“What happened to us? I’ll tell you what happened to us. We need more George Washingtons. We need more Andrew Jacksons. We need more Thomas Jeffersons to be free and to pursue happiness. In my case to be happy is to blow a duck’s head clean off. Someone would say that is cruel, but Thomas Jefferson would say check with the creator.”

There used to be a song that said, “Happiness is different things to different people.” Happiness to Andy Jackson could have been blowing the head clean off a Native American and to Jefferson it could have been bonking his slave mistress.

Jefferson would say, according to Phil, duck hunting is in the book, and it is because God created the animals for food.

“Why did everyone, but eight members of Noah’s family die after the flood?” Because everyone else had “pure evil in their hearts.” He also says that the other people didn’t believe it would rain because it had never rained before.

OK, if you know the scripture reference that Noah experienced the first rain ever, please send it to me. God told them to be fruitful and multiply and, as I recall, Noah attempted to multiply with his own daughters and, according to Phil, if that should happen to you, you should go ahead and have your child/sibling and sort out what they should call you and your father before mother’s day or father’s day because there isn’t a sibling/mother’s day or an incest committing father/grandfather’s day.

He talks about naked people protesting eating fried chicken. He doesn’t understand why they are naked and, frankly, neither do I. It doesn’t really get the message across if you are looking at the nakedness and ignoring the sign. He says there’s nothing in the Bible prohibiting fried chicken and there isn’t, but to say it is OK you have to believe there is no such thing as high cholesterol or clogged arteries.

According to everything I know, if God can give him the talent to make duck calls, then God can give doctors the talent to prevent heart disease. And by the way, I have never had anything greasier than a duck.

Around minute 17 is where he goes into his homosexual rant. He begins explaining that America is such a mess because, “First they say there is no God and then they bow down to animals and each other.” I think he is referring to the worshipping of pagan gods or nature.

Then he uses all the usual right-wing preacher terms like gross sexual immorality, dishonor, degrading, perverted. Because they don’t want to attain the knowledge of God they are given over to lust. All of this stuff has been said before and in some contexts can be attributed to someone’s Biblical interpretation.

As I have said many times before, I do not actually care what they think is a sin as long as they do not put it into law, if it doesn’t infringe on anyone else’s rights or cause harm to anyone else. Then he goes way off in right field.

Because of their supposed perversion, “They’re full of murder, envy, strife, hatred. They are insolent, arrogant god haters. They are heartless. They are faithless. They are senseless. They are ruthless. They invent ways of doing evil.”

There is not one thing Christ-like, Jesus-centered or Godly about saying this, and I have no idea which part of the Bible, that I have read, it came out of. In college I was a religious education major and I made “A’s” in the surveys of the Old and New Testament, and I do not recall any of this.

At the end of this sermon he talks of gathering your family around a roaster full of ducks and praying. He explains the same plan of salvation that I remember and ends by saying you should teach your children to “love God, love their neighbor and shoot ducks.”

Just remember this quote any time you meet a homosexual: “They’re full of murder, envy, strife, hatred. They are insolent, arrogant god haters. They are heartless. They are faithless. They are senseless. They are ruthless. They invent ways of doing evil.”

You can think some sex is perverted; I know I do, and that is the reason I don’t participate in things I think are perverted for ME. However, I will not be using the above quote to describe people who do participate, and I have no idea how you can say it in a loving manner.

Now, I hear Duck Dynasty, with Phil, will continue on A&E and, according to what A&E says and is hoping, the Duck people will be more tolerant.

I am thinking it is not a good idea for the guys at A&E to hold their breaths. I would encourage them all to actually watch this sermon and take notice how lovingly he says, “They’re full of murder, envy, strife, hatred. They are insolent, arrogant god haters. They are heartless. They are faithless. They are senseless. They are ruthless. They invent ways of doing evil.”

Be careful not to use any form of the word “create” around people like Phil because it means you believe in the Biblical story of creation. According to Phil, it is not possible for a non-believer to use the term create.

Karen Webb lives in Moore, OK and is a frequent contributor to The Oklahoma Observer

 

Arnold Hamilton
Arnold Hamilton
Arnold Hamilton became editor of The Observer in September 2006. Previously, he served nearly two decades as the Dallas Morning News’ Oklahoma Bureau chief. He also covered government and politics for the San Jose Mercury News, the Dallas Times Herald, the Tulsa Tribune and the Oklahoma Journal.