GOP: Who Wants A Sh*t Sandwich?

A video clip of an exchange between conservative talking head Hugh Hewitt and U.S. Sen. Chris Murphy, D-CT, is circulating on social media. The complete interview was broadcast yesterday on Hewitt’s podcast. The subject: the Republican budget plan that was passed in the U.S. House of Representatives in support of the Trump/Project 2025 agenda. You can see the clip here.

Here’s my version of the conversation:

HEWITT: The GOP has completed the recipe for a sandwich they want to serve the American people for lunch every day. How ‘bout that sandwich! Does it make your mouth water?

MURPHY: No, it doesn’t. Have you read the recipe? It’s for a shit sandwich.

MURPHY: Um … First of all, there are no pickles. Not a single pickle. You’re lying.

HEWITT: OK, but there will be! If there are pickles in the sandwich, even though it’s not actually part of the lunch plan, would you eat the sandwich then? I mean, heyyyyy. Pickles!

MURPHY [sighing]: But there ARE no pickles on the sandwich. None. No pickles. Besides, pickles or no pickles, we’re talking about, literally, a SHIT SANDWICH. That’s what’s in the recipe. Shit slathered on slices of bread. Cheap, white bread-and-shit sandwiches. These people spent all this time planning lunch, and what they came up with are these disgusting sandwiches. Without, by the way, pickles.

HEWITT: Well, I’d argue with you about whether the sandwich is disgusting, but this is an interview, not a debate. Back to the point, though. I’m sure there will be pickles in the sandwich.

MURPHY: Wha—!? How? How could you possibly know that?

HEWITT [condescending tone]: Because, as I’m sure you know, the recipe that was just approved will go to the guys who make the sandwiches – and they’ll put in the pickles. They promised! So, when they do, in fact, put pickles in America’s sandwich, will you eat it?

MURPHY: Good lord, man. If you hand me a shit sandwich with pickles in it, no. I will not eat a shit sandwich. Even with pickles. You cannot actually be serious about wanting to serve a shit sandwich for lunch to the American people and at the same time serve – as part of this fabulous lunch plan – caviar, steak, and lobster bisque to the billionaires. Their menu is in the lunch plan, too, you know. Guess how they’re planning to pay for the steaks and caviar? By giving everyone else shit on Wonder bread. So, no. You can keep your shit sandwiches.

HEWITT: Well, again, I would debate you on that point, but *burrrrp* I’m too busy eating this snack the White House sent over …

MURPHY: Is that where that awful smell is coming from??!!

HEWITT: … and dreaming of pickles.

To Comfort The Afflicted And Afflict The Comfortable

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