To Comfort The Afflicted
And Afflict The Comfortable

To Comfort The Afflicted And Afflict The Comfortable

Monday, June 24, 2024


House Republicans Know What’s Important


The attached article from Sunday’s Oklahoman will sure help me sleep better knowing the supermajority of elephants running this state are focused like a laser beam on the really, really high priorities I always hear my Bubbas at Ruby’s Cafe also discussing. Sure they do.

As Speaker Charles McCall said in the article, the 2022 legislature has focused rightly on two things: Freedoms and liberties and my pals at Ruby’s love those two topics … Freedoms and Liberties, because we also know that damn Joe Biden is always trying to take them away from US like, as Speaker McCall puts it …

Abortion. Only I think McCall got it backwards. The anti-abortion crowd won, again, and they propose to take away a woman’s right to choose for herself and give it to some male nitwit sitting on the back row of the Oklahoma House. How do you like those freedoms, ma’am?

The second thing good old banker McCall listed as protecting our freedoms came in reference to the federal 2nd Amendment. That one’s about guns – and since there are more guns than people in this nation, I didn’t know anyone was messin’ with our freedoms to have as many of them as we can afford. So maybe somebody in McCall’s hometown tried to take his gun away, but I doubt it, so on this one I think The Speaker was just blowin’ hot air out of his you know where.

Then there is that favorite thing the Republicans are always bitching about and that is federal overreach. They are right on this one. The feds spend about $1.41 in Oklahoma for every dollar Oklahomans send to Washington while New York – a state I hear that seems to like a lot of overreach – only gets back about 83 cents for every dollar it sends to the nation’s Capitol. So when it comes to money and federal overreach, just turn down a bunch of highway money destined to Oklahoma and have our congressional delegation ask the Treasury to send it to New York instead because they like it and we don’t. Makes sense to me.

And this last thing I know that has been on the lips, or even breath, of my Ruby’s pals is that stuff about a marijuana black market. McCall’s Posse passed some bill they claim will fix this huge problem and they modeled it after the federal law in the 1920s and ‘30s that made drinkin’ hootch illegal for a few years until the law enforcement types figured out a bunch of Americans really loved the stuff. I’ll just bet our Oklahoma lawmakers are about to find out this is another freedom most folks want more of, rather than less of, to the point I’ll bet the voters would approve recreational marijuana, if given the chance, just like they did medical marijuana.

You see, I’ve learned through the years that one man’s freedom is another man’s government interference and vice-versa. Speaking of vice, I’ll see you at the racetrack or one of our 140 casinos next week or maybe at one of the dozens of bingo parlors, or even better hundreds of home poker games so we don’t have to pay any taxes on the fun of playing illegal card games in our homes or businesses.

Yep, I’m really thankful that McCall and Co. have spent the last three months making sure I’ve got plenty of freedoms and liberties.

Now about that education thing or maybe a word or two about health access in rural Oklahoma or broadband for me down here in 19th century Lexington or maybe a new free road so I can get to work … but whatever you do, Speaker McCall, please don’t give me a brand new turnpike through my farm so truckers can get from Missouri to Texas an hour quicker because in Baja Oklahoma they’ve got even more freedoms and liberties than we do here, which we all know is defined as more guns, no abortions, fewer Democrats and more Republicans.

Sounds like heaven on earth, doesn’t it … except for kids who live in poverty. Texas is No. 1, Oklahoma is No. 2, so maybe since McCall just got re-elected to another term as speaker he could look into that very unpleasant freedom which is otherwise defined as going to bed hungry every night.

Enjoy your steak tonight, Mr. Speaker, and then your next flight to a Mexican resort on your private plane. I understand the food’s pretty damn good there, too, and tell your friend, Sen. Cruz of Texas, we said hello. Word is you want to be just like him when you grow up.

With your current priorities as speaker, I think you just may make it.

Cal Hobson
Cal Hobson
Cal Hobson, a Lexington Democrat, served in the Oklahoma Legislature from 1978-2006, including one term as Senate President Pro Tempore.