To Comfort The Afflicted
And Afflict The Comfortable

To Comfort The Afflicted And Afflict The Comfortable

Tuesday, July 23, 2024


Moralistic Morons, Massive Out-Of-State Money And The Mid-Terms


Why are California and Florida billionaires trying to buy the next Oklahoma United States senator?

Because they can. Out of about 15 Republican candidates vying for the senate seat currently held by James Mountain Inhofe, those superrich, east and west coast Trump Toadies have chosen to fund is current state Sen. Nathan Dahm [pronounced dumb.]

Through a dark money PAC organized by rudderless rube Rand Paul, R-KY, Dumb has been funneled $900,000 to fund distortions, lies and other shameless activities that will most likely work on many of the clueless Republicans who call Oklahoma home.

To counter this flood of out-of-state dinero, current U.S. Rep. Markwayne “The Plumber, Gunner and boxing Puncher” Mullin has tossed in a million of his own cash to also pump up his bonafides with the boneheads who will vote in the elephant primary June 28.

And just for giggles, guess who might be running third right now in this world famous dumb off? None other than returned-from-political-oblivion Scott “The Druid” Pruitt, he of formerly Trump EPA fame where he lasted only long enough to buy a mattress for his DC abode; then offered his services as an Indiana lobbyist; and finally remembered where our People’s Building is and showed up to file for office.

And, yes, this fellow, who I know well from service together in the state Senate, will get a bunch of votes because he’s originally from Tulsa where he beat a strong Senate incumbent by maximizing his links to the largest Baptist church in Broken Arrow.

Now, lightning might strike in the 15-strong field of crooks, cranks, clowns, cons, the unemployed and unemployable, and a winner might emerge other than Mullin, Dumb or Pruitt, but I doubt it.

There’s just not enough common sense among those eligible to vote in this Republican-only June primary and August runoff, so let me go ahead and endorse my favorite in the contest … Nathan Dumb, of course.

He will be the easiest for our candidate – well qualified, politically proficient and seasoned Democrat Kendra Horn. She’s middle of the road; looks for do-able solutions to real problems; beat a popular incumbent already; is smart as hell; will be competitive monetarily; is honest and hard working.

Now I admit all those credentials usually are not enough for a Democrat to win a statewide race in our bright red state, but elections here in 2022 are different than usual. Here’s why:

  1. The current governor is corrupt, phony as a three-dollar bill and is under both legislative and OSBI investigation. That won’t help the elephant party in November.
  2. Plumber, Gunner and Puncher Mullin, Dumb Dahm and Druid Pruitt can’t get much farther to the right but they will try during the primary and runoff. Their slivers of insanity will work among just Republican nitwits but not statewide when all of Oklahoma, Tulsa and Cleveland County voters cast their ballots.

Reason? Those three population centers contain nearly two-thirds of eligible balloters which means the rural Republican rednecks, who regularly vote against their own best interests, and will again later this year, will be washed away in a large turnout which leads me to No. 3.

  1. A heavy turnout in November will happen because a state ballot question will be decided: Shall Oklahoma legalize recreational marijuana? And the answer is: Of course, they will because fully 10% of eligible adults already possess medical marijuana cards and a whole bunch more will want the “just for fun” types.

Oh, yes, they will. Here’s why: Millions of $$$ are already in the bank for the “Yes” campaign; only a few doctors, a scattering of law-and-order types, Stitt and some lawmakers will publicly oppose the question; little money will be gathered to defeat it; and most importantly, tons of Okies have spent their entire lives smoking, eating, puffing, inhaling, rubbing on and otherwise using Mary Jane so why wouldn’t they vote to make it easier and, most importantly, legally to continue to do so?

Heavy turnout is good for Democrats, contrary to what one would think since the elephants are now the majority of registered voters but … a bunch of them also are pot heads, like a ton of Democrats so why would they vote for one of the moralistic morons who most probably will be the Republican standard bearer in November?

Call me crazy. Others have for decades but I do know this: When people want to do something that directly affects their own lives, that issue supersedes their candidate preference almost every time.

For the reasons enumerated above, plus a few more, Democrats will have a banner 2022 year in bright red Oklahoma. Of course, I could be wrong but so what. My lifelong motto has always been “Often wrong but never in doubt” so what’s one more miscalculation.

After all, the smart money said Trump could never be elected president and if my memory holds, foggy as it may be, I think he was.

Now that was a tragic event of epic proportions. Electing again a few donkeys in the Sooner State? Not at all epic but certainly overdue.

Speaking of Epic have you heard about the private school run by two crooks that are big supporters of Stitt? Well, you will and those guys like Swadley bar-b-que, too.

Just a coincidence? Nah. Just a “Gathering Place” – and I don’t mean the one in Tulsa.

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Cal Hobson
Cal Hobson
Cal Hobson, a Lexington Democrat, served in the Oklahoma Legislature from 1978-2006, including one term as Senate President Pro Tempore.