BY KAREN WEBB
How many Aggies does it take to win the GOP nomination for president?
Gov. Rick Perry, as it turns out, is going to need a lot more than Aggies to win it.
It turns out he is going to explore the more fringy fringes of the Christian Right. They believe the Democrats are controlled by the demon “Jezebel,” that the Masons are controlled by the demon “Baal,” the Latter Day Saints are a cult and the Catholic Church is “the whore of Babylon.”
Don’t misunderstand me; I am not a particular fan of the DNC, the Freemasons, the Latter Day Saints or the Catholic Church leadership.
These guys believe this country was founded on Biblical principles and that the leaders were led by God. We can forget the part about why God, supposedly, instituted slavery for a moment and think about the number of Baal Worshipping Freemasons who were around and about.
Fourteen presidents are confirmed Masons, nine signers of the Declaration of Independence, and at least 34 – and maybe as many as 40 – of the 108 Supreme Court Justices, seven chief justices. Ronald Reagan was only a Scottish Rite Mason, but in 1988 a ceremony was held in the White House to make him an honorary Mason. Those crazy Reagans were always up to some “culty” sort of chicanery. He had Masonic ceremonies and she had psychic readings.
There have been hundreds of U.S. military leaders, including Sherman, MacArthur and Colin Powell who were or are now Masons. Secret organizations are a big bad thing to the group Perry is cuddling up with.
In Texas, Aggie jokes are really popular, and Rick Perry is a prime example of a popular Aggie joke. Dubya was not an Aggie, but he and the current Aggie joke governor have a few things in common.
They were both really lazy, C average students, although I hate to admit it, but Dubya appears to be more intelligent. No one where either man went to college thought they would amount to much and definitely not presidential material.
Both men were cheerleaders, although at Aggieland they are called “yell leaders.” Both guys were members of secret organizations called fraternities and both were pranksters. Bush was even a member of the uber-secretive Skull and Bones. Both barely made it to graduation.
Yes, we need another lazy, prankster, cheerleading, frat Texan in the White House.
I am going to let you read the rather long article that is linked at the end to get the details. It is worth reading. However there were a couple of statements I found particularly amusing.
“Alice Patterson claims to have seen demons with her own eyes. In 2009, at a prophetic meeting in Houston, Patterson says she saw the figure of Jezebel and ‘saw Jezebel’s skirt lifted to expose tiny Baal, Asherah, and a few other spirits. There they were – small, cowering, trembling little spirits that were only ankle high on Jezebel’s skinny legs.’”
They all think Jezebel is controlling the DNC. Alice has looked into her looking glass or down her rabbit hole and considers Jezebel to be the mother of all demons and she is ankle deep in “small, cowering, trembling spirits.”
I don’t know about other religions, but I was raised Southern Baptist and female preachers, who see actual visions of female demons who hide tiny demons under their skirts, can get you kicked out of the convention so I can’t imagine a lot of them latching onto this movement.
If John McCain and Barack Obama had preacher problems, Rick Perry is up to his skinny ankles in them. One of Perry’s fans was what got John McCain in hot water.
“He’s certainly convinced the movement’s leaders. ‘He’s a very deep man of faith and I know that sometimes causes problems for people because they think he’s making decisions based on his faith,’ Rev. Tom Schlueter says. He pauses a beat. ‘Well, I hope so.’”
Calling Rick Perry “deep” on any level is like calling your bath water a flood. He is making his decisions “based on his faith” in what? He better have a lot of faith that Larry Flint doesn’t decide to kick in a million or so to anyone who has the goods on the Ken Doll in the Texas State House. The only Jezebels, in my opinion, will be on the same primary ballot with Perry.
Perry, the Aggie Joke Ken Doll, is in the running. It should be amusing: the GOP primaries brought to you by Mattel, featuring the Mormon Ken Doll, the Aggie Joke Ken Doll and the two brunette Barbies with the goofy accents, Clondike Barbie and Cornbelt Barbie.
The Battle of the Self-Righteous Collectibles.
– Karen Webb lives in Moore, OK and is a regular contributor to The Oklahoma Observer