BY VERN TURNER
Several of my Facebook friends are Canadians. They keep asking me what the hell happened. I try to explain. They send back verbal headshakes or remain silent. In every case, however, my Canadian friends are polite and gracious. I think they understand what caused such a dreadful mistake: 62 million dupes, an electoral anachronism [the Electoral College] and an over-confident opposition party led to the worst person in the world becoming our president.
No, I’m not ignoring my grammar rules. Donald Trump does not warrant having his title capitalized.
This most recent series of outrageous and insulting policy decisions and “ideas” from our executive branch are clear indicators of two things:  Trump and his minions had these things in mind all along as part of their plan to destroy the “administrative state,” aka democracy;  Trump got tired of playing by any of the rules of decorum, decency and diplomacy, the law and the so-called norms of Presidential power.
This is not an either/or choice. These two things are real, obvious and uncompromising in their starkness, petulance and utter savagery embodied in the Trump Administration. After this man and his horror show are gone, let us all hope that there is enough of our democracy left for repairs, enough of our friends who waited patiently for us to vomit out the orange hairball that has scourged our world and a counter reaction that actually returns diplomacy, candor and grace to our world entanglements.
To my Canadian friends, I also send reminders that we are not a bad people. We love Canada. We love Canadians. In so many ways you set behavioral examples that we should live by more often.
Most of us Americans know that you are not a threat to our national security. We’ve been trading with you for almost 200 years and have done very well by each other. Trump’s attacks on our trade policies with Canada are part of his psychosis and paranoia. But we, the vast majority of Americans, know that he does not speak for us.
Be patient with us. Please. We are trying to fix this. There arerational people here who don’t flaunt guns, obscene tattoos and religious lunacy. In fact, we are the majority. You just don’t hear about us, because the media is too busy frothing over the latest Trumpian outburst that pisses people off, scares our friends and roils the international economies.
Speaking for just myself and those who feel the same, please accept our apology for the latest G-7 idiocy from Donald Trump. There is nobody on Earth that he won’t insult or embarrass. Hell, he embarrasses 320 million of his own citizens every day by opening his mouth and letting the sewage of his mind pour out.
We are so sorry for allowing this “thing” out of its cage and onto the world stage. Please don’t think that our liberal and progressive people in any way condone what the Trump policy – not Democratic policies or laws – is doing to children along our southern border. These actions are pathetic in their cruelty and savagery against innocent people. The people trying to enter our country are running for their lives, and it’s our fault. But to warehouse children that have been torn from the arms of their parents is beyond anything resembling what civilized nations do. We apologize for this disgrace.
It is our fault that we have thousands of Central Americans fleeing to the north. It is our drug culture that keeps demanding illegal drugs. Our drug use is driving these poor Central Americans into the waiting arms of the Border Patrol and ICE.
I’m not talking about marijuana; it looks like we’re going to get that sorted out soon – except for Texas, which will probably never understand the medical benefits of pot because the churches tell them not to.
When we ask ourselves why so many people use drugs that kill, maim and turn good, healthy citizens into drooling idiots, the answers are a muddle of self-indulgence, boredom and peer pressure. The burden of imminent death, though, lands on the drug-producing countries. The money [billions of dollars per year] flows mostly into the pockets of the drug gangs and cartels. The poor people remain poor, and if they don’t respond to the gangs’ recruitments of “mules” and dealers, they are killed. Thoseare the horrible truths behind the self-indulgences of our drug users in the good old United States.
Donald Trump never blames the American citizens who use drugs, but exploits the fears of uninformed Americans to satisfy his racist agenda. These are the tactics of demagogues, dictators and despots. After almost 18 months of constant madness from the White House – they just set new league records for executive branch turnover – it is clear that Donald Trump is behaving like an unhinged despot with aspirations for eternal power.
That is the most frightening statement I’ve ever written, and I hope that I am wrong.
In closing, my Canadian friends, I hope you will forgive us our transgressions with our international behavior as dictated by this current president. When he is finally gone, we promise to do much better and elect someone who actually represents the better angels of our nature. We promise to elect someone who is rational, compassionate and interested in investing in people rather than more wars and ego-driven, bigoted nonsense that does nothing but antagonize the world.
Any national leader who thumbs his nose at his friends and sucks up to their enemies [Putin] is a most dangerous animal. We the people of America – the civilized people – have only the ballot box to fix this situation. I hope that this horror show will wake up enough of our somnolent citizens who didn’t vote in 2016 [92 million of them] and do their civic duty.
We’re sorry that our so-called patriots stayed home. We’re trying to change that situation. Please forgive us our horrible mistake and be patient with our citizens who are tying to rectify the worst thing to happen to us since our Civil War began, over 150 years ago.
Sometimes we Americans have to be shocked into action before we do the right things.
– Denver resident Vern Turner is a regular contributor to The Oklahoma Observer. His latest book, Why Angels Weep: America and Donald Trump, is available through Amazon.