BY KAREN WEBB
Now, I have heard everything. I have said that before, but now I am sure. I saw a new TV ad that proved it.
A man with a bloody nose takes one of those waiting-in-line numbers and then you see a woman carrying a crying baby and you see a number of people obviously waiting for something.
Cut to a frazzled-looking woman behind a counter and she says, “There is no waiting in the St. Anthony Emergency Room.”
Then they tell you that you don’t have to wait in that ER because you can go on-line and make “reservations for emergency room time” at St. Anthony Hospital in Oklahoma City.
About 20 years ago I got told off by Blue Cross because my husband ended up in an out-of-plan ER and he didn’t call first. He still doesn’t remember the accident or the ER, but he was supposed to call. Now, he needs a laptop. Triage on-line?
Sorry, we have no open reservations for Tuesday between 9 p.m. and 10 p.m. because those other people are predicting emergencies worse than the one in your premonition.
Sorry, Mr. Jones, you must let us know three hours before your reserved emergency time, if your emergency will be late or you have to pay for your reserved time.
Sorry, Miss Smith, you have no reservation for your gunshot wound and we believe it had to do with lack of communication between you and your assailant. You must plan ahead and schedule these things in advance, but too much planning can make it look like assisted suicide.
Maybe I am just too dense, but I think reserving time for your emergency takes all of the urgency out of it. Yesterday, I was in the ER with my mother-in-law because the doctor told us to go. We were there about four hours before they discovered her kidney stone.
Should I just set up a regular time on Tuesdays at St. A’s and if it happens at the wrong time, I can just say, “Granny, improper planning of emergencies is inexcusable.”
What will my insurance company think? They already seem to think there is no such thing as an emergency, so making reservations for emergency time could make them even more suspicious.
– The author lives in Moore, OK and is a regular contributor to The Oklahoma Observer