To Comfort The Afflicted
And Afflict The Comfortable

To Comfort The Afflicted And Afflict The Comfortable

Wednesday, June 12, 2024


‘Spontaneous Head Explosions’



For those of us living in just about the reddest of the red states, take heed. There is a danger looming that you need to be aware of, and perhaps consider taking precautionary measures.

We all know that this new Republican Party and its kissing cousins in the Tea Party are defined by what and who they hate.

They hate Mexicans, even though they hire them to do jobs they don’t want to do themselves. They hate Democrats, even though it’s the libs that keep cleaning up their messes. They hate blacks, especially the really smart ones like Barack Obama. They hate the “liberal media,” which is any news entity other than Fox News. They hate Arabs, but they love to do business with them. They hate Muslims, because they aren’t Southern Baptists. They hate anyone that challenges their hate.

Which brings us to the topic: Republicans are all in a big snit because Muslims want to build a cultural center and mosque several blocks away from the former location of the twin towers of the World Trade Center. Multiple times each hour Fox News, their lone source of “news,” has another Republican being interviewed informing them just how awful that is. After all, Republicans hate Arabs, and Republicans hate Muslims.

The Fox News talking heads rail away about how despicable that is. After all, Fox News also hates Arabs, and Fox News also hates Muslims. They’re proud to help carry the banner. But there is a hidden danger lurking that’s certain to create a problem for the rest of us that are surrounded by the hate crowd dominating our state.

It turns out that one of the biggest shareholders of News Corp., which owns Fox News, has been a major financial contributor to the fund to build the Muslim Cultural Center and Mosque in New York City. The rank-and-file haters won’t like that at all.

It’s so confusing when their only news source is railing away against the cultural center, while a major co-owner of Fox News, actually owning 7%, is kicking in moolah to help build it. But it gets worse. The name of the Fox News co-owner is Al-Waleed bin Talal, a Saudi Prince. At this point, the wingnuts eyes are beginning to twitch, and they’re developing a nervous head-bobbing tic. An Arab is a co-owner of Fox News! A Muslim Arab is a co-owner of Fox News! A Muslim Arab is a co-owner of Fox News and is a financial backer of building a Muslim Cultural Center and Mosque at ground zero!

The wingnuts are now finding their hearts racing as they struggle to comprehend this development. This new effort to actually comprehend something not spoon fed to them is testing their under-utilized thought processes and is beginning to cause a cerebral overload.

There is a danger to the rest of us that have to be surrounded by them. When their underdeveloped brains reach critical mass, we may well experience spontaneous head explosions on a massive scale. The contaminants from these eruptions should be considered hazardous to the rest of us.

As a public service, I’m providing a link to a source of inexpensive, disposable hazmat coveralls so we can be protected when we find ourselves in close proximity to the exploding heads phenomena.

Kenny Belford lives in Tulsa, OK and is a regular contributor to The Oklahoma Observer

Arnold Hamilton
Arnold Hamilton
Arnold Hamilton became editor of The Observer in September 2006. Previously, he served nearly two decades as the Dallas Morning News’ Oklahoma Bureau chief. He also covered government and politics for the San Jose Mercury News, the Dallas Times Herald, the Tulsa Tribune and the Oklahoma Journal.
Mark Krawczyk
Mark Krawczyk
March 9, 2023
Exceptional reporting about goings on in my home state as well as informative opinion pieces that makes people think about issues of the day...........get a SUBSCRIPTION FOLKS!!!!!!!
Brette Pruitt
Brette Pruitt
September 5, 2022
The Observer carries on the "give 'em hell" tradition of its founder, the late Frosty Troy. I read it from cover to cover. A progressive wouldn't be able to live in a red state without it.